what's that buzzing noise?

Perhaps the most laughable of all language foibles is the buzz word. For the sake of efficiency, "buzz word" defines both words and strings of words in common use in the business, conventional media, and social media worlds.

So, how does the buzz word differ from the cliche?  They sometimes intersect, but the cliche is generally a phrase we use as a comfortable cloak to keep us protected from the bold and sometimes frightening act of speaking plainly.  The buzz word is...well, bad slang for adults.  A college kid can be forgiven for calling some dude a swagger jacker for stealing his witty way with a baseball cap.  That's slang, which can be highly creative with interesting re-combinations of words and sounds. And it has the decency to be out of fashion by the time I post it.  The buzz word, not so much.  The buzz word is the work of people who own casual Friday business attire,ask whether things are "age-appropriate", and never let their pet phrases die a well-deserved and quiet death.

Nothing makes a grown-up look more silly than peppering speech (or writing) with stupid buzz words. (All right, wearing a Moose Lodge antler hat and doing secret handshakes might look marginally more silly, but this is a grammar blog.)  If you find yourself sitting around a conference table with a group of sales people, saying something like, "there is a lot of low-hanging fruit out there, and we need to get our ducks in a row and light a fire under our sales efforts.  I want you to parking-lot other priorities and really get your arms around these new initiatives.  If we are going to dollarize these opportunities by the end of this fiscal quarter, we are going to need to up-tier and drink from the fire hose.  Ping me as soon as you have something," you are in serious need of an intervention.

In fact it is perfectly acceptable for an employee driven to the brink of madness by buzz-jawing to jump you right at the conference table, going for a head slam with a triple lutz. Other employees will clap and cheer, and when the police fill out the report, they will nod sympathetically when she says, "I slipped." Saying "no" to buzz words is in the best interest of your physical well-being, and the mental health and happiness of your employees.  If you are not the boss, but merely an over-reaching employee, take heed.  Getting your arms around the management lingo in order to create a paradigm shift and move the needle on your mission-critical promotion can cause your fellow worker bees to take you out into the real parking lot and beat you with a stick.

I'm just sayin'.  On-boarding with the idea of going cold turkey on buzz words may well raise the bar for office dialoguing, giving you a halo effect, and up-tiering your career.  I know this has been a come to Jesus post, but I am going to be out of pocket for awhile.  Ping me if you have any thoughts.